| | Current Music: | the flaccid tension of unattainable suicidalism | | Subject: | i just ate mcdonald's | | Time: | 03:00 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankitten.gif) meh |
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| yes. the whole chain.
it's a wonder my gut didn't rupture.
haw. haw.
anyway.
*yawn*
i'm outta meds.
tired.
should go to sleep.
trying to blog.
very hard.
why is it so hard to type some crap on a slot and click the "update" button?
or i dunno, do shit that's supposed to be easy? like...reply to message or...sumthin. why is it so hard?
i'm so tired of things i'm supposed to do, but that i don't know how to do. i have some half-assed understanding...and little energy. and with these awesome talents i'm supposed to take on the world?
i... am. useless. | blessed beom mani padme hum   |
| | Current Music: | Evanescense - Breathe No More | | Current Location: | in front of poot | | Subject: | ParanopiA | | Time: | 06:37 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankawake.gif) lungs compressed *gaspgasp* |
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| heart going bump bump bump
i've only been up one night again but i haven't eaten and i've been cleaning allll night. and all day yesterday too. but i did eat yesterday, pretty sure it was yesterday. 1000 cals. figured it'd take care of today too but if i wanna stay up i better eat somethin... but i'm obsessing about going out. it's so warm i can't hide in my big grey teddy-bear fall coat, would look ridiculous. but i'm afraid my ass looks big, or that my boobs look weird because i'm wearing a too big sports bra so there's half the support. i like it when my boobs are firmly pressed flat and up so i look leaner. and i'm afraid wind will blow up my skirt like Marilyn Monroe's... it's not that kind of skirt but still. it'd be embarassing. how do people wear those half-assed mini skirts outside? beyond me. mine ends right below the knees and i feel like everyone must think i'm a total skank wearing that kinda stuff outside...prolly think "she should just hide inside her teddybearbodyscalp and not even try to look normal" ...cuz she's weird. and she's tweaked, and tired. and all kinds of fucked up thankyouverymuch.
aaanyway. where was i? oh yeah. other prob is i dunno what to eat if i manage to go to the store... oh, kiwis. i wanna go to the store that's 2 minutes closer, they don't have the meal replacement bars i eat but they have kiwis. what then? bananas...potassium for paranoids. | | blessed be2 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| | You Are 63% Addicted to Blogthings | 
You lead the pack when it comes to posting Blogthings.
And your friends (mostly) thank you for it.
It's cute that you insist on being called your Japanese name.
Just stop bragging about your IQ score! |
| | blessed be2 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| | Current Music: | quietness | | Subject: | hee! | | Time: | 04:42 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankwink.gif) giggly |
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| | You Are Socks! | 
Cozy and warm... but easily lost.
You make a good puppet. |
| | blessed be6 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| | Current Music: | Puddle Of Mudd - Goodbye For Now | | Subject: | blah | | Time: | 03:23 pm | | Current Mood: | blah ...a little sad |
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| | i wanna go to a club and have a good time... but i'm too fat ATM. have to lose a ton of weight. stupid flu makes me eat even more and i can't even drag my butt to the drugstore to get my meds... blah. i want some distraction, i wanna fake happiness for a wee while. | | blessed be6 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| | Current Music: | silencio | | Subject: | 'tis teh dope | | Time: | 04:06 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankhappy.gif) chipperoo |
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| Take the quiz:
what drug are you?>>>>>COOL PICS!!
pain killers
thsi is the most depressing and morbbid of all...these pills are used to comit suicide or dull the pain of normal life....noone knows what happens when you take them really but when you take alot to kill yourself....it hurts....it causes your muscle to spasm and lock up....then your body shuts down exept your brain leaving you parilyzed for five minutes....before you die...you have to go through excrutiating pain...and fear....sounds like fun eh??
Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
oh what do you know, silly quizmaker? :P pills are teh yum! | | blessed beom mani padme hum |
| coffee
coffee is made of satan's pee
there's a migraine a-brewin'
on the left side of me
from the top of my head
to my eye to my cheek
to my neck to the rest of me
so goddamn weak
on the right side of tracks
life is
peachy keen
if it werent for the left side
we'd
feel so free...
but there's no zipper
no buttons
no keys
no stiches
no hooks to unhook
no backdoors or glitches
no solvent to pour
on my cellular glue
got to grin it and bear it
not much else you can do | | blessed be4 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| | Current Music: | music of insanity... can you hear it? can ya? huh? punk? | | Subject: | and so it goes... | | Time: | 09:18 pm | | Current Mood: | insane |
|
| PART 2
1.Where were you when the ball dropped for 2006? i think i was catching up with Yule by baking plum tarts and noticed some minutes later, "oh hey, new years..." *yawn*
2. How did you get the idea for your profile name? my name is Milla, i wear pants...or sometimes a skirt but millaskirt just doesn't have the same ring
3. What time were you born? look, if i'd been born yesterday, i doubt i'd still know what time it was... try 23 years ago. you try remembering that, cuz yanno, noone told me so i sure as fuck don't
4. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? no song, i'm having a music-free month...or ten
5. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? yeah for like 5 months at least. took 2 years to re-humidify my tear containers... just in time for the next tragedy. can't wait to see what happens the next November after the next November...
6. What color underwear are you wearing? black bra, red panties. perv
7. Do you want a baby? not really, do you want to get rid of one?
8. What did you do this morning? kept working
10. What ended your last relationship? what last relationship?
11. Do you have a date for Valentines? well yeah i guess there was some dude called Valentine and he started his own card business, called it Hallmarks or something... and then announced that the 14th of whateveritwas would be from then on called Valentine's Day and people would have to buy his gooey love-cards and send them to each other. clever dude, he was.
12. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? FU
14. Who did you ring in the New Year? noone, i'm not british
15. What was the last movie you watched? Brokeback Mountain. it rawked
16. Who do you dislike at the moment? the asshole that made the world so fucking sucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
17. What food do you crave right now? Valium. godssakes, somebody give me some Valium!!!
18. Did you dream last night? no because i was too busy working
20. What is your favorite piece of jewelry? the one around my neck
21. What was the last thing you ate? a banana, hours ago... right now i'd like some banana liquer instead... with a handful of Valium
23. Write a song lyric that's in your head? Valium oh how i love thee, come to meeee so i can be freeee
24. Are you on any meds? yes, but i need Valium too
25. What side of the bed do you sleep on? the middle
26. What shirt are you wearing? dress, wearing a dress
27. What is your favorite frozen treat? ice cubes in a very alcoholical drink
28. How many tattoos/piercings do you have? none yet
29. What's your favorite store? the Valium store? and then the liquoer store cuz it actually exists | | blessed beom mani padme hum |
| | Current Music: | nada | | Subject: | argh! glue... | | Time: | 06:31 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankgeek.gif) busy |
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| Q1) When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my tummy to see if it's bigger or smaller
Q2) How much cash do you have on you? don't freekin know, haven't bought anything in days, i've been earning MONEY doing bloody WORK grrrrrrrrrr
Q3) What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? surely you jest. how should i know?
Q4) Favorite planet? Mars
Q5) Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? i really am not in the mood to check so fuck you
Q6) What is your main ring tone on your phone? must be the most annoying one!!!
Q7) What shirt are you wearing? i'm wearing a dress, moron. get a grip.
Q8) Do you "label" yourself? yeah, i'm the uniquest fuckin snowflake evar
Q9) Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? brand? wtf? they're boots, i liked em, were on sale. that's a reason to buy boots. brands can kiss my fucking fat ass!!! >:(
Q10) Bright or Dark Room? depends on the situation. like wtf?
Q11) What do you think about the person who took this survey? well i think he's right on the money for saying fuck the world
Q12) Ever "spilled the beans"? i might have puked some beans, i dunno
Q13) What were you doing at midnight last night? having horrible tummy aches and watching Dark Angel
Q14) What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? i don't remember, i wiped it
Q15) Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? i might suck in a lot of ways but i'm not that goddamn stupid
Q16) What's a saying that you say a lot? umm fuck?
Q17) Who told you they loved you last? Bob
Q18) Last furry thing you touched? my coat, has fur on it... i hope it's not real :/
Q19) How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? lots of bloody speed and it's making me pissy >:(
Q20) How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? when are you from, the previous millenium?
Q21) Favorite age? 37 cuz that's when i'm sposeda finally die
Q22) Your worst enemy? things that suck
Q23) What is your current desktop picture? Martian Traffic
Q24) What was the last thing you said to someone? something about i'll be right there...? d'oh!
Q25) If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? i have too many regrets so i'd just take the million... or maybe i'd just fix the root-regret which is that i was ever born
Q26) Do you love/like someone? yep, both even | | blessed beom mani padme hum |
| | Current Music: | the usual freekin pooter-hum, don't feel like music nomo :( | | Subject: | losin' it | | Time: | 06:16 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankangry.gif) pissed off |
|
| workworkwork. i'm going nutsnutsnuts. meds making me crazy depressed. and i get totally monsterbitchy. swing between wanting to blow my brains out and wanting to kick someone's ass. between wanting to cry and wanting to scream.
and where are those god damn good little moments of super-sober optimism and energy these days, huh? mom said i went from 2 weeks of PMS in a month to 4 weeks. if this keeps up i'll be inclined to agree. but what are my options? if i don't take these meds i won't have the energy to... live. nor work to make money to sustain the "live" status.
gimme a fucking break. i'm tired of being crazy. | | blessed beom mani padme hum |
| Your results:
You are Geordi LaForge
| Geordi LaForge |
| 60% |
| An Expendable Character (Redshirt) |
| 60% |
| Jean-Luc Picard |
| 55% |
| Deanna Troi |
| 45% |
| Data |
| 39% |
| Mr. Scott |
| 35% |
| Chekov |
| 35% |
| Worf |
| 35% |
| Beverly Crusher |
| 25% |
| James T. Kirk (Captain) |
| 20% |
| Leonard McCoy (Bones) |
| 20% |
| Spock |
| 19% |
| Will Riker |
| 15% |
| Uhura |
| 10% |
| Mr. Sulu |
| 10% |
|
You work well with others and often
fix problems quickly. Your romantic
relationships are often bungled.
 |
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test
| | blessed be4 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
|
the Romantic
Test finished! |
you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR.
"I am unique"
Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
How to Get Along with Me
- Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
- Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
- Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
- Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
- Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
What I Like About Being a Four
- my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
- my ability to establish warm connections with people
- admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
- my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
- being unique and being seen as unique by others
- having aesthetic sensibilities
- being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
What's Hard About Being a Four
- experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
- feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
- feeling guilty when I disappoint people
- feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
- expecting too much from myself and life
- fearing being abandoned
- obsessing over resentments
- longing for what I don't have
Fours as Children Often
- have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
- are very sensitive
- feel that they don't fit in
- believe they are missing something that other people have
- attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
- become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
- feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Fours as Parents
- help their children become who they really are
- support their children's creativity and originality
- are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
- are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
- are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test? so please RATE it :-)
You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose BY
Would you rather have chosen:
AY (EIGHT)
CY (SIX)
BX (NINE)
BZ (FIVE) |
 |
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
You scored higher than 26% on ABC |
|
You scored higher than 57% on XYZ |
| | | blessed be2 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| (clicky here to find out what i'm talking about)
"And this line of research does have its critics. Some have worried that, in the future, manipulation of a "gay gene" or genes might be used as a method of preventing homosexuality in utero, or perhaps even after. But Bocklandt said these kinds of fears shouldn't stand in the way of legitimate scientific research."
i have to say this article kinda freaked me out. yeah yeah i always freak and invision the worst possible outcome but the mere thought of the mere possibility of people tampering with future people's genes with the sole intent to prevent homosexuality... it makes me wanna give up trying to stand the cruel violent ignorance and fear-fueled acts of undescribable horrors in this world... and just hop off the carousel.
as a bisexual, a big supporter of the "rainbow" way of life, and that whole freedom thing, and as an autistic, and as a person, and as a living being... the thought that they would do something like that... the thought they could do something like that... it's horrifying. the normies think everyone who's different, everyone who they don't understand is somehow defective and must be fixed, and they're gonna try and come after the gays, and then the autistics, and then who knows who will be next, maybe untrendy people! maybe non-blonde girls who don't have a face carved with a cookie cutter!
it was the innocent little scientists with that innocent-looking, wide-eyed, child-like curiosity who designed the atom bomb... well, guess what. the curiosity killed the cat. and the curiosity of scientists has, does, and will kill a lot more cats. the soul of the world became endangered the second the idea of genetic-manipulation plopped into the mind of some naive genius smartypants. the ever-unique, ever-playful spirit of the world will die and that is how the apocalypse is to come. not by bombs or diseases or crickets or rivers of blood... the world will turn into a vegetable on life-support.
that's all there is to it. and we the people can, and probably will, sit idly by and watch it all unfold... | | blessed be7 lovebeams or om mani padme hum |
| |
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/anksad.gif){kind=small}
sick
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankcreate.gif){kind=small}
and my hair is made of noodles
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/anksleepy.gif){kind=small}
*has not slept in 2 days*